INCONGRUITY HYPOTHESIS
HOW AN INVISIBLE FORCE KEEPS US FROM DOING THINGS WE RATIONALLY WANT
HOW AN INVISIBLE FORCE KEEPS US FROM DOING THINGS WE RATIONALLY WANT
WRITTEN 20200501
THERE SEEMS TO BE A FUNDAMENTAL MECHANISM
of almost otherworldy power that keeps us from the us we could be. A force so strong almost no one can withstand its power. A force that keeps us down. Everyone experiences it. Everyone should be able to relate to it, otherwise, the force wouldn’t be working.
THE INCONGRUITY HYPOTHESIS
In the minds out there are different versions of reality, because every entity with plans to interact with its environment, therefore also a single mind has to create their own reality in order to function in this world. As a result, no single item or object in this world is displayed exactly the same way in two different minds. As a result, there is not a single exact copy of an interpretation of objects stemming from reality out there in the collective of all the minds that exist. To simplify, we only concentrate on human minds.
THERE CAN BE SEVERAL VERSIONS
of the interpretation of the same object in the same mind. This is where the incongruity comes in: it basically is a measurement of the differences in case two of these interpretations or in scientific terms, models are compared and the difference between those two is calculated. Every single discrepancy between two models now automatically creates a drag or pressure for these two models to be identical again, calls for the discrepancy to go away. You could almost compare it to the explanation used in physics for inertia, where every action automatically creates a reaction as big as the action itself, but with incongruity, it’s somehow different: Every discrepancy creates a force correlated to the size of discrepancy itself with the goal to eliminate the discrepancy. The bigger the discrepancy gets, the more powerful the force to eliminate this discrepancy becomes as a result of it. We now will take a look
INTO DIFFERENT SCENARIOS RELEVANT TO US
into two different scenarios relevant to us: In the first one, we find two versions of a model in one human mind, in the second one, the two versions of the model are found in two different human minds.
Furthermore, we only take a look at models of humans in human minds, which leads us already to the first opportunity for us to get even more specific.
LET’S ASSUME, THERE EXIST TWO MODELS OF US
in, well, us. Meaning, two different models of us in our own mind. That, of course, doesn’t mean, that we see ourselves as two different or separate entities, to begin with, and isn’t necessarily the case, that the models drift so much apart, that the models of us really become separate entities, splitting apart and resulting in dissociative personality disorder.
NO, HERE, WE WANT TO TAKE
a much more grounded approach and see the different models which already are in every each of us, we often describe them as roles. Everyone is a son or a daughter, people are fathers, husbands, wives, children, students, masters, professors, craftsmen, businessmen, runners, lifters, swimmers. And every one of us already has those different roles.
BUT LET’S ALSO LEAVE OUT THESE ROLES
which are indeed real, but for the sake of this argument we want to concentrate only on two models, the two models in our mind, we have of ourselves, the two models, that, when drifting apart create the force we should fear but also use like nothing else in this world.
THE FIRST ONE IS THE THINGS WE DO
Acting in this world defines us. Deciding amongst billions of possibilities each and every second is the one single thing that defines us each and every single second. What we are is therefore only a matter of what we did. We did in the past. Every single action we take, every single decision we make contributes to this model of ours we have in our mind, but not only in our mind, but also grounded in reality. What makes us us and you you comes down to a decision tree with an endless amount of nodes and the thing the defines us seen from this perspective is just the record of all the decisions we made in the past.
EACH AND EVERY SECOND WE REALIZE
one more decision point by acting. By acting, we got to choose one of those infinite possible paths in this decision tree and ‘stamp’ it into our record.
THAT’S THE PRESENT
The thing that defines us the most. We live in it, have to, cause we simply cannot access any other node in this decision tree than the one we right now have to choose.
LET’S ASSUME
we wanted to make the best of our lives. Then, the only thing we could do is to choose the single path that we think of as the best one. Which of course almost always not necessarily really is the best one, but that doesn’t really matter, cause with all our limitations we will never be able to accurately judge the decisions we made. Cause we simply do not know. Cannot know. Cannot understand, not comprehend.
BUT WHAT NOW,
if you choose something you didn’t think was the optimal decision, didn’t think was right. What, if you did it again. And again.
WHAT I YOU KNOW
you should quit smoking, binging, that job, that relationship, that endless consumption of natural resources we cannot allow us to. What if we either knowingly or not knowingly choose something, that ain’t right, judging only by our own limited perspectives?
WHAT, IF WE DO IT AGAIN,
and again, and again, and again. Not things we know we couldn’t have done anyway, but many more things we almost certainly know to have been doable at that time, in that node. What if we don’t choose the things we think are right.
A VERSION OF US WOULD CREATE ITSELF
A version of us, we never can be. We will never be able to be. A version of us, that will never fully exist but will start to haunt us in our dark days. When we are down. And don’t know how to: Stand up, fight for, analyze, realize, recognize the mistakes we made. The ones that led us down this shallow path. The ones that were wrong.
WE WOULD CREATE A MONSTER, IT WOULD WAKE UP
This is the second version, the second model. It’s not the things we still can choose. Not the version of ourselves we could be. But the one, we could have been.
WE COULD HAVE BEEN
if we would have had it together. But we didn’t. The us that could have been, but isn’t. But we know it could have existed. But we never allowed this version of us to be alive. We killed it. In every single moment, we decided not to this thing we knew was right. We killed it. Every time we took a step back instead of the one ahead. We killed it by being indecisive, by neglecting the reality ahead of us. By neglecting the version of us we already are and not properly facing it.
WE KILLED IT NOT BY SLAYING THE DRAGON
but by hiding from it. Letting it grow bigger and darker. More powerful.
WE KILLED IT BY RUNNING AWAY FROM IT
by not realizing, not recognizing the things that we deep withing already knew to be true.
And now it is coming back to haunt us like this dragon.
HAUNT US FOREVER
The version that is reality becomes a darker and shadier, shittier image with every single decision we did we knew was wrong. It’s the ultimate you, the you that could have been.
AND IT BECOMES BIGGER
more powerful, and as it does, we don’t. We get smaller as we hide. And this is where the incongruity hits us. Cause with every single decision we made, the differences between the version of us we are and the version of us we could have been becoming bigger. And this is where the force starts to hit us. Because there simply should not be differences between the person we could have been and the person that we are. But there are. So the force grows to eliminate it. It is the fear from the dragon we never faced representing all the problems we ran away from.
AND WE CANNOT RUN FROM IT
hide from it. Because with every decision we make, this version also changes. It changes as we do. But it always changes for the better, we for the worse.
BECOMES SMARTER, HEALTHIER, MORE SKILLED
as become the opposite.
So the force, the gap, the incongruity becomes bigger and bigger. But we will never be able to bring those two apart again, simply because we cannot, it is not within the realm of possibility.
SO WE DO SOMETHING ELSE
Create another version to unify them, simply by bringing them together although they cannot be brought together. We take the average of the versions of us in us we have and create a third version, a proposal, that will never really be real. But has to exist, cause otherwise the dragon that haunts us, the dragon that is the things we could have been but never within this reality again will be.
WE CREATE A PSEUDO VERSION
When we begin to deny that this other us ever could have been. We begin to justify the things we did, although we know now and knew back then that they weren’t. We begin to deny the pure existence of this second version of us and by creating the third one seemingly eliminate the differences between those two.
WE DO THIS SIMPLY TO NOT BREAK DOWN
under the irresponsibility of our own misguided us. We could do nothing anymore under the ever-increasing weight of doing the right thing, realizing the right paths in front of us.
WE ACCEPT THAT WE ARE WHAT WE ARE
We accept that we did wrong. Realize that there still is hope out there as long as we right now try to find the best path to realize.
WE NOW KNOW
that we, as we think, act, exist will always be the shittier version of us. The version that exists cause we didn’t do things differently. The version we will always be stuck with, cause we, as we think, act, exist by definition can never be the us we could have been.
SO THE THIRD VERSION
is a mixture between those two. A deadly one, cause accepting the now is one step, one right one, but doesn’t mean anything if we cannot make the next one also right.
IF WE ACCEPT, WE RESET
We accept that the knowingly can and will never be the version of ourselves we could have been. So we reset right now, in this single moment. Try to make the best decisions we possibly can right know. Try our best.
BUT AFTER A WHILE, EVEN IF WE,
from that point in time on really have made every single decision right: the malevolence of the third version, the pseudo version starts to kick in.
CAUSE WE NEVER HAVE BEEN THE GOOD VERSION
of ourselves. We always have been the shitty one. Simply who we are, is not what we could have been, because we simply cannot change the wrong decisions in our decision tree. We simply cannot turn back the time, so what we think of ourselves comes back to haunt us.
CAUSE WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO IS PRETENDING
Cause what it comes down to is pretending. Pretending to be the version, we know we never have been. Doing everything right from now on creates a problem. Because we simply are not the things we did the last two, three, thirty decisions ago, but what we really are and therefore what we think we are, is the third version. We simply will never think of us as the good version. The version that could have been, even if we for the last few decisions really were.
THE FORCE BEGINS TO PULL US BACK
The force begins to pull us back. Drags us down. Because with every right decision we do, the discrepancy between version one and version two becomes bigger and bigger. The force wants to eliminate the discrepancy. So with every right decision, we make, the drag to make a bad one becomes bigger and bigger. The power we would need to withstand that force increases with every right decision we make. Increases, grows. Until we break. We break because we never have been the things we could have been before and therefore simply do not think of ourselves as that. We truly believe, based on reality, that we are not that person. Not the good version.
SO THE FORCE COMES. PULLS US BACK. DRAGS US DOWN. AGAIN.
And we start to make bad decisions again. Cause we simply cannot withstand the force. Cause the force that stems from all the incongruity increases the more our actions deviate from the average of all the decisions we made. And the bigger the differences in the quality of our decisions ranked from good to bad, the bigger the force gets.
SO WE SIMPLY HAVE NO OTHER OPTION
So we simply have no other option go on but to stay who we have been.
We cannot be better, at least not for long. The more time we spend on that right path the bigger the force that pulls us back gets.
THE FORCE BEGINS TO PULL US BACK
The force begins to pull us back. Drag us down. Again. Until we find ourselves back at how things used to be.
BACK TO THE SAME
or another shitty job. Back at drinking, binging, shouting, fighting, hitting again. Cause we always have been this way. And there’s nothing to change that matter. But it does: matter. We do matter. We can fight it. Chose to choose the right path again and again. Be pulled back again. Stand up again. Wrong things again. But we can choose.